Ukrainian girls is different
There is a Russian version to Facebook and it is called Vkontakte. I have been a member on this website for almost two years, but have been much more active in the past couple of months as I have been attempting to learn the language and the culture. One of my friends on this site posted something recently that has got me thinking. Here is what she posted.
A polite boy with ask you, "Should I come? Should I meet you? Should I help you? …. A good boy will say, "I’ll come. I’ll meet you. I’ll help you.” …. A Real Boy will come, meet you, and help you.
Now, this behavior of not asking, of not telling, but just doing something for a girl is chivalrous indeed. However, I realize that this goes against everything that I had learned as a child and everything that the American culture has been teaching boys since my childhood.
Obviously, in the beginning, it is important for a man to not ask to kiss a girl. He needs to just lean in and kiss her. This is important in sex too. I have been told that asking a girl if you can have sex with her causes her to feel awful. A Real Man just moves toward her and takes her. I have even been told in the many interviews I have conducted with girls that this behavior makes a girl feel more like a girl.
As I think back to my ex-girlfriend (Ukrainian girlfriend), one of the reasons she cited for leaving me was that I always asked her what she wanted to do or where she wanted to go or what she wanted to eat for dinner in the evening. She couldn’t express herself very well, but I see now that she was referring to this exact point. She didn’t want to have to think about it. She didn’t want to have to do any work on this topic. She just wanted me to take care of it / make the decision. As a man, we are expected to intuitively know when we are supposed to be MANLY and not think of a girl’s thoughts or feelings and JUST DO SOMETHING.
Where is that balance? I think that that balance will be different with every girl. But, I do see now that I need to un-learn everything that I have ever learned. I also see that a little bit of obliviousness is a good thing when it comes to how to win a Ukrainian girl. If you want her to fall for you, if you want her to fall in love with you, and if you want her to stay with you; I think that you need to sometimes "not consider her feelings”. However, if you want a great relationship with someone, then every book, tape, seminar, or program tells men that we need to "be aware of a girl’s thoughts and feelings”. Perhaps there is an aspect to being with a Ukrainian girl that is different.
This realization will make me re-think everything that I have ever been taught by and taught about women. Good luck with that. I obviously am not an expert yet on that one, but I assure you that I will find this balance with my very own Ukrainian girl. Thanks for reading and have a great day.