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This week has had a very interesting theme. 20 years ago, I had two major car accidents and as many of you know, I played football when I was younger. Occasionally, my back bothers me, but to add to those woes, shortly after I arrived in Odessa, I slipped down a ramp outside of an internet cafe and broke my right leg, dislocated my ankle, and broke my right foot. Unfortunately, it did not heal completely perfectly and as a result, it has added to my back troubles. So, for the last week, I have been dealing with extreme back pain. I even had to take Monday off of work because I just couldn’t move.
The good thing about this situation is that I have had the opportunity to see how many wonderful people I have in my life that care deeply about me and about my well-being. I will be going to get a CT Scan on Monday morning, but until then, I have been able to hobble around and get my work done. I have taught about my normal 25 classes, but haven’t hit my normal amount of privates this week, which was probably a good thing since I can’t move very well. I even had a professional massage for the first time in my life and he adjusted my back which helped me a lot. It didn’t completely solve the problem though.
On the love front, my small girl that likes me has had a very busy week. She works as an accountant for one big business, one small business, and a sole proprietor, so her week has been filled with a lot of stress. As a result, I have not seen her this week. As I stated earlier, I had a small Valentine’s Day party at my place and met a cool girl in her late 20s. She is tall, lean, and dark like I like them, but I am not sure just how attracted I am to her. So, we are planning on going out this evening for sushi, possibly a movie, and who knows; with enough alcohol, possibly even Karaoke.
I am not a big fan of Karaoke, but many people love it, so I have one or two songs I could sing and the 4 or 5 times I’ve been, I’ve had a good time. So, I am willing to go. I’ve never mentioned the possibility to another person though. So, tonight could be the first time I ever suggest Karaoke to someone else. If my back ends up bothering me too much, we can always head back to my place and watch a movie.
Speaking of watching a movie at my place, I went out with the one girl that has finally perked my interest enough to get my ex out of my head. However, as I mentioned before, we are just friends. She has graduated from the Law Academy as an undergraduate and is studying for the equivalent of her Master’s Degree. On Thursday, she asked me how I felt about her and about our relationship.
I sent her four separate messages to help clarify my thoughts and feelings for her. I told her that I enjoy spending time with her, and I was hoping that spending time with her might help her feelings develop. She was very honest with me and sent me a message on Friday morning telling me that she just had no physical attraction to me.
I made a big mistake. Sure, there are lots of girls that don’t find me attractive, but my radar sure missed on this one. I for sure thought we had chemistry between us. Oh well. She had also told me she loved spending time with me and I made her laugh. But, overall, she thought it was best if we didn’t spend time together because she didn’t want me to get hurt. After she had sent me that message, I asked her a couple of simple questions. I asked her if she still wanted to spend time with me, and I asked her if she would feel uncomfortable spending time with me due to my feelings for her.
I explained to her that this had happened to me many times in my life. I explained that many times, I had chosen to break it off with another girl and not spend time with her due to her feelings and due to the fact that she would only get hurt. However, I also explained that there had been a few occasions when the girl could avoid getting her feelings wrapped up in me and we were able to hang out together and become very close friends and just have a great time. I asked her if she was willing to do that.
Her response shocked me. She said, "I hope I can be like you! I feel like I can tell you anything!” When I received this response, there was half of me that was extremely proud that I could actually get a gorgeous girl to relax and like me enough to become my friend and to trust me with all of her deepest darkest secrets. On the other hand, I was upset and shocked because I felt like the gay friend! Had I completely lost my masculinity and manhood? Had I become asexual? AAAARRRRR!!!! I want to scream!!!!
I guess hanging out with someone you love hanging out with is a good thing. So, I will choose in this instance to focus on the positives and see where this friendship takes us both. She came over to watch a movie last night and we watched the Guardian because the first three funny movies that I had tried, she had seen. So, at the end, she was talking to the computer screen. She was a little perturbed because of the sad ending. She said it was not a good movie for Friday night! I told her next time, we’ll see a funny movie.
Also, I asked her to help me with my search for a great girl. She said that she would think about it. Many girls say they’ll think about it but then never help you by introducing you to their friends, but I think she will. I was actually shocked at how relaxed I was with her. My feelings seem to be waning for her companionship. I think we could end up having a cool friendship. I don’t care what anyone says, having female friends is great! It’s better than a swift kick in the ass!

24.06.2019